I discovered Cherie Reich's blogfest the other day and decided to join in! I have an awful time keeping my stories short (they usually turn into novels), so this was a challenge for me. But it was a great way to get me writing again when I wasn't feeling like it. The rules are to write a story below 300 words and begin with the clause "lightning flashed." So for your inspection and hopefully reading pleasure, I give you "Soul Stealer."
Lightning flashed, missing me by a mere two inches. I jumped as it lit up the dark, empty street. Who knew sorceresses had such hot tempers?
Her long hair blew in the wind and her green eyes sparked with anger. Literally.
"Give it back, little man," she hissed, advancing on me. Her voice might have been nice if it hadn't been coated with ice and rage.
She was suddenly right in front of me, gripping my throat and cutting off my air supply.
"I... I sold it," I managed to choke out in shock. She let go and I crumpled to the ground, gasping. I dealt with magic-users all the time, but usually not when they were awake. It was easier to steal their memories when they were asleep.
"To whom?"
Despite the fact that I might be fried for this woman's early breakfast in a minute, I was overcome by curiosity.
"Why do you want it back?" Memories were powerful magic, especially the ones from sorceresses and warlocks. I stole them and sold them to magic vendors in the black market. But I only took bad memories. I figured I was doing everyone a favour.
Her stare sent a chill through me and I fought the urge to scramble backwards on the hard cobblestone street. I gave her the name of the vendor. I thought she might strike me down then and there, but her expression softened.
"Memories are part of who we are, even the bad ones," she said. "You stole part of my soul, and I want it back." She turned and walked down the street in the direction of the black market, no doubt to recover the haunting memory I had stolen from her.
And as rain began to fall, I felt regret.
Nice! I love the interaction between them, and the profession of a mage-memory thief sounds awesome. more please :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I had written the first little bit, and then I couldn't figure out what I wanted the mage to have stolen from the sorceress. The random idea that he would steal her memories came to me as I was falling asleep, so I went with it. I may have to write more on this.
DeleteI have the same problem with short fiction so I try to avoid it at all costs.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great bit of flash fiction. I'd love to read more about a mage-memory thief too.
Thanks! I definitely went over the limit and had to cut down.
DeleteThis is great! I love the idea of a mage memory thief. You should definitely write more about that character.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jeremy! I am thinking I might just do that.
DeleteGuess they would be part of our soul. Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteWell I guess you could get into debates about that... but I definitely think memories are a huge part of who we are.
DeleteCool story/concept... I like that she wanted her bad memory back!
ReplyDeleteThanks. That's how I feel about my memories.
DeleteI had to join your tribe just by virtue of the blog title. *LOVE*
ReplyDeleteMemory theft--awesome. Can I say that again? AWESOME!!! I like the way your brain works. =)
haha thanks so much! Follow returned :)
DeleteFantastic! I love flash fiction. There's an award for you on my blog.
ReplyDeleteThanks :) It is nice to read and write something short that doesn't take too much commitment.
DeleteAn interesting take on the theme, Allison. Good job! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you! I thought I had to put in some magic if lightning was involved.
DeleteI like the little notes of humour under all this. I think possibly it doesn't need that last line telling us how the character feels though.
ReplyDeleteI think you might be right. Sometimes it is hard for me to tell what can be cut out and what needs to stay when I've been working on something for a while.
DeleteNice change of pace at the end. I thought for sure the MC was going to get toasted!
ReplyDeletehaha nope, he will survive to tell another tale. This time.
DeleteLooking forward to it. Thanks for hosting!
ReplyDeleteInteresting story. This certainly has potential if you wanted to continue! Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteHeather
Awesome story. I didn't expect that sort of theft and it made it all the more intriguing. Well done.
ReplyDeleteVery nice! A prelude to something bigger?
ReplyDeleteWe'll see. I think I might expand it :)
Deletethat was a truly awesome read. I agree with the other commenters, you really have to continue this!
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea that the narrator thought she was doing her victims a favor. It's a nice touch. :)
ReplyDeleteA lot of emotion, strong character development and all in 300 words. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, I love the idea! You should definitely write more on it :)
ReplyDeleteLoved this...definitely a longer story waiting to be told.
ReplyDeleteLoved this! I think the best short fiction leaves us longing for more of the story, and yet has a satisfying conclusion - just like this one does! Good job! You've got great description, character development, and the most important elements of plot all rolled into less than 300 words - wow!
ReplyDeleteThank you! I wrote over the limit and then cut down--it really showed me how you can refine a manuscript and what a difference doing the same thing could do on a larger work.
Deleteoh, this was very good, and Tyrean is right, satisfying conclusion but oh boy did I want more of this story.
ReplyDeleteSo true!!
ReplyDeleteLoved this :)
That must be what's happening to some of my memories...because so many seem to be disappearing. Very cool story and such a fun read. Fantastic short! :)
ReplyDeletehaha. I am forgetting things from younger years too. I think these thieves are among us even now...
DeleteI wish I could meet that little man. I'd give him my bad memories for free. Cool idea!
ReplyDeleteWith all of the fantasy related entries in this contest, yours stands out... a very cool idea, indeed. It's like a supernatural version of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which just happens to be one of my favorites. I love the moral behind it. While you could expand this, I think it's beautiful just as a short because you were able to get the point across well even with the word limit. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed it!
DeleteI loved the last line and how she seems to have taught the thief a lesson. I enjoyed the voice too.
ReplyDeleteThe results will be announced Friday. :)
Stealing memories. What a terrifying concept.
ReplyDeleteLoved this. I can see why she'd be so intent on even keeping the bad memories. I loved the closing line. :-)
ReplyDeleteShe's right, good and bad memories are a part of us. I loved this piece.
ReplyDeleteWow, what a deep and gorgeous tale!
ReplyDeleteSome Dark Romantic
Definitely keen to know what memory was taken, loved the depth of characters
ReplyDeleteI like the world you've set up here, interesting to think of memories as currency and/or power. I wonder what the sorceress plans to do to the vendor who now owns the memory...
ReplyDeletehahaha. I wonder that myself...
DeleteThis was awesome and would be great as a longer piece! (:
ReplyDeleteReally liked this, it would be great as a novel! Congrats on being a finalist!
ReplyDeletetotally awesome, finalist! great story!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I loved the twist of what he had stolen. Very creative. Congratulations on being a finalist! :)
ReplyDeleteI loved this. The writing was excellent, and the idea intriguing. You totally deserve being a finalist. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is good because i never dreamed there could be a good story about stolen memories
ReplyDeletecongrats and i love the next to the last line.
Congratulations on being in the finals!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on being a finalist! Good luck. :)
ReplyDeleteOh wow. Are you going to develop this further? It would make a great longer story :)
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your 3rd place win!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on you're 3rd place ranking! :)
ReplyDelete